Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Stuck in the middle without you

My middle child, Jason is acting out.  He is kicking us, hitting us (playfully but hard).  Making Power Ranger moves.  He talks loudly when Zander sleeps.  Bothers Zander when he is trying to nurse.  Tells us that he wants to break things.  Then say that he's not serious.  Doesn't want to eat.  Doesn't want to go to bed.

Do I think he is naughty.  Nope.  I do think that he is feeling left out.  Like he is not getting enough attention.  I do think that the more we tell him to be quiet around Zander, the more he is doing it for attention.

I do believe that this started when Zander was smaller and we would tell him to handle Zander softer.  We would forever tell him "Get out of his face"  "Stop kissing him on his lips"  "Don't pick him up"  "Don't hug him so tight"  All of this with reason of course, as it would get Zander crying.

On the other hand, Quintus (being older) would be more gentle in his approach.  Thus causing Zander to be less frightened of him.  (I'm sure that Jason's loud and strong attention is scary for a little guy)  Zander now easily smiles at Quintus.  Even staring at him, waiting for attention from his eldest brother.

This, I'm sure, hurts Jason even more.  Zander was his baby.  Right from when I fell pregnant, he was the one who would talk to my stomach.  He was the one that asked to listen to Zander's heart beat.  He was the one that stayed with me when Zander was born (rather than going of with his cousins)

Don't get me wrong though. I love the relationship Quintus is developing with Zander.  He is such a great older brother.  Always wiling to help out when it comes to Zander.  I just feel bad for Jay.  I am working on it and I know this too shall pass. 


Posted at 12:01 pm by MelfromSA

jen34@iconz.co.nz
July 12, 2006   01:00 AM PDT
 
common for this to happen
give Jay a hug and bit more loving for a while it will pass
Broom Girl
July 6, 2006   03:20 PM PDT
 
Connor is acting EXACTLY the same at the moment.

It's a middle-child-jealously thing - I think.

Good luck to both of us with this.
Lilly
July 5, 2006   02:44 PM PDT
 
I hope it will work... your plan sounds really reasonable... I am sorry for Jay. I know he doesn't want to hurt anybody. He just wants to be loved and accepted... I know you will do all what possible to make him feeling it, even more than now. That you will find a way for Zander to love his middle brother too...
Melany aka Supermom
July 4, 2006   10:59 PM PDT
 
Bond Girl - I have thought of that just tonight :) I'm letting Jason bath with me and Zander. He then washes Zander. I'm also taking him out alone this Saturday - thanks for the ideas
Wenchy
July 4, 2006   10:06 PM PDT
 
Sure you will sort it all out. You are a great mom.
Bond Girl
July 4, 2006   03:02 PM PDT
 
Is there some special thing he can do for Zander? Bath him or with him? Give him a bottle? feed him? Something that is just for him. And maybe some alone time with mom.
 

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I'm Melany (32), married to Tommie (36). We are the proud parents of three sweet boys, Quintus (6) and Jason (4) and Zander (born Jan 14)



I am an accountant and work with my dad. We work from their home. I mostly try to juggle a career, motherhood, being the boys private taxi service and being a wife. Pretty much like most of the women out there? We live in South Africa (The land of milk and honey, if you take away the crime...corruption)


I also update our website monthly. This is mostly about the boys:
Our website


Please feel free to leave a message, but if you would like to contact me personally e-mail me











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