Are we as parents always too strict on our first born children?
My mom and I had a bit of a fall-out this afternoon (okay, more a screaming match) when I disciplined Quintus for interrupting conversation but not Jason. Although this is not about proving a point (I was right lol) I'll explain what happened.
My brother and Maggie was here to show off their brand new car (congrats guys!) when Quintus interrupted. I asked him not to. Then Jason interrupted. I asked him not to. When Quintus interrupted yet again, I disciplined him and sent him to the bathroom (time out in our home). As he walked away my told me that I was wrong. That I should discipline Jason as well. I felt that Jason listened after I told him not to interrupt the first time. My mom disagreed and hence the word fight. The fact that she told me how to discipline my kids IN FRONT OF my kids just made me more upset.
Okay now I have gone WAY of track. Do we discipline our first born kids more? Probably? Although I try my utmost not to. I try to discipline them according to their ages. Which would mean that I would expect more of Quintus at his age. I don't discipline my kids much. (I suppose that depends on who you ask hey?) but some people feel I discipline Quintus more than Jason. Would be nice to have an INDEPENDENT outsider share their views on that.
Anyway on that note - here's my folks and THEIR first-born son. Who apparently was discipline more than the others. This from very reliable sources.
Posted at 08:21 pm by MelfromSA
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Melanie
July 17, 2006 07:20 PM PDT
Hmmm ... I think I expect more out of my older children than the younger ones. I think I expect about the same out of the older 2 since they are only 17 mos apart, but I tend to discipline them differently. Words have much more of an effect on older DD than on older DS who may need other types of discipline to be effective. I do find that I may be less strict about certain things with the younger ones than I was with the older ones, just because I've learned some things are more important. Does that make sense? |
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mrs. diamond
July 17, 2006 03:25 PM PDT
I have noticed that in many families. My grandparents were way stricter with the first batch of kids (they had 14) but the last half just ran wild, and are messed up to this day.
My parents were much stricter with my oldest brother and me (we're 15 months apart) than they were with my baby brother who was born when I was almost six.
In our family though, I find myself expecting more out of our older child...but I discipline the middle one the most. Because she acts out the most. Sigh. |
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Bond Girl
July 17, 2006 12:05 PM PDT
I expect much more of Hunt than Taine. Hunt doesnt require a lot of discipline though, so when he gets it. it seems worse than what Taine gets, but in reality Taine gets disciplined a lot more - just his nature. |
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Jane
July 17, 2006 11:10 AM PDT
I do think one has tendency to expect more mature behaviour from the oldest child, and think of the youngest as 'only (2,3,4 or whatever)'.
Still I discipline both of mine depending on the situation, but Quinn possibly gets more as he certainly pushes the boundries far more!
I think the oldest is like that though the younger children learn how to play the game and get what they want from watching the older one has to figure it all out from scratch.
regards
Jane |
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Hannah
July 17, 2006 07:48 AM PDT
I always felt like I was disciplined more quickly than my sister, but that's because I rarely did anything wrong. My sister was in trouble more frequently, so my mom tended to pick her battes with her I think. I think it has to do with disciplining your children because they are different and therefore need to be handled differently. For me, a simple scolding put me in tears and I never did it again. For my sister, she needed something for serious (like loss of privledge) to teach her a lesson. Sounds like you have good judgement and did the right thing. |
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Evi
July 17, 2006 07:08 AM PDT
Mel, you are right!
My older sister got way more disipline that I or my younger sister did.
I am myself guilty of this with Jeremy.
your blog made me think.
Hugs
E. |
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Name
July 17, 2006 06:20 AM PDT
Well summed up, Bok. It hurt me a lot with the reaction from both sides. Of course I ended up the guilty party. Just love the boys so much I wish there was just harmony all the time. But of course life does not work that way. Where do you find those photos!! Makes me realise my age. And look how old fashoined those cars are that I was so proud of. |
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