Tommie went hunting today in Namibia.  It's the first time he's gone hunting since we got married.  (I hate hunting)  My dad went with.  Not to hunt though :)  Just to go bird-watching.  The only way my mom would allow him to go, was if we (me and the boys) stayed with her.  It is such a schlep, riding up and down between my house and my folks.  I wish my mom would rather come stay with us.  But I do understand that as one gets older, you don't want to sleep out any more.

Then I'm all alone in the office during tax time too!  But my dad deserves this time off. I hope he has a great time.

Saturday night Tommie went out with his cousin JC and would have stayed over on the farm.  But he decided to come home (under the influence) and continued drinking here.

I'm upset because he drove under the influence.  Also because he drove back and decided to go drinking even more, when he should have (could have) come home.  It is time for him to grow up.  When I spoke to him about it yesterday, he thought it was one big joke and couldn't see why I was so upset.  He arrived at work with some flowers today.  He said that he is sorry, that he loves me and that he hates it when I'm upset with him.  It's the first time ever that he has apologized like that.

Christel asked us all to do a treasure list last week.  It is where you only say good things about the other people on the group.  What you admire about them.  We got the list back today.  I will always treasure this list. It made me feel so special.  I'm honoured to have such a great group of friends.

I only noticed last night that I could actually put in any date that I want.  So I decided to re-write my handwritten journal here.  So the "new" post are actually all old!

What a week.  I found out on Monday that I only have 50 % hearing in my right ear.  That my eardrum is calcifying and that the hole in my ear (from when the eardrum burst) is still there.  The doctor said that they would have to operate at the end of the month.  I'm not looking forward to that!

Our computers at work has crashed one by one.  I'm so behind with my work.  There is just no way that I can get it all done, in between seeing the clients and not having a full time secretary.  I'm feeling extremely stressed.

Things have been so good between me and Tommie these days.  That is of course till tonight.  He promised to be home just after 6 pm - it is now 9 pm and he is still not home.  I'm so tired of all his broken promises.  His pathetic excuses.  Once again, I have to take care of the boys by myself.

I feel as though I'm not the mom I used to be.  It might be because we are still not sleeping well, because of the stress at work, too little time, even winter (as we don't get to go play outside, like we enjoy doing).  I want it to be like it used to be.  I just have to make more time for the boys.  They deserve the best.

Since becoming a mother, I have been very focused on being a MOM and never really working on ME any more.  As I would be turning 30 next year, I started feeling more and more that I have not become what I had hoped I would by that time.  I had studied hard to receive my degree, but felt that I hardly ever used it.  This year though, so much have changed.  Becoming a member of the CFA has opened the doors for me to use my degree in business with my dad.  I did a certificate course through UNISA that I got 80 % for... proving to myself that I can still study (LOL).  I also made some awesome friends this year. I have forgotten just how important true friendship really is.  I have regained my respect for my body and after losing 24 kg, feel confident and comfortable with myself again.
I feel complete, fulfilled and very happy with the way this year has turned out.