My middle child, Jason is acting out.  He is kicking us, hitting us (playfully but hard).  Making Power Ranger moves.  He talks loudly when Zander sleeps.  Bothers Zander when he is trying to nurse.  Tells us that he wants to break things.  Then say that he's not serious.  Doesn't want to eat.  Doesn't want to go to bed.

Do I think he is naughty.  Nope.  I do think that he is feeling left out.  Like he is not getting enough attention.  I do think that the more we tell him to be quiet around Zander, the more he is doing it for attention.

I do believe that this started when Zander was smaller and we would tell him to handle Zander softer.  We would forever tell him "Get out of his face"  "Stop kissing him on his lips"  "Don't pick him up"  "Don't hug him so tight"  All of this with reason of course, as it would get Zander crying.

On the other hand, Quintus (being older) would be more gentle in his approach.  Thus causing Zander to be less frightened of him.  (I'm sure that Jason's loud and strong attention is scary for a little guy)  Zander now easily smiles at Quintus.  Even staring at him, waiting for attention from his eldest brother.

This, I'm sure, hurts Jason even more.  Zander was his baby.  Right from when I fell pregnant, he was the one who would talk to my stomach.  He was the one that asked to listen to Zander's heart beat.  He was the one that stayed with me when Zander was born (rather than going of with his cousins)

Don't get me wrong though. I love the relationship Quintus is developing with Zander.  He is such a great older brother.  Always wiling to help out when it comes to Zander.  I just feel bad for Jay.  I am working on it and I know this too shall pass. 

I stumbled upon a blog of a mom with three boys (my boys' age gaps), who is busy adopting a Russian girl.  I went onto the site given by her where you can see photos of the children who are up for adoption. 

Man I should not have done that!  I just cried and cried.  You can narrow down the list of kids. So I put in girls, with blond hair, blue eyes and no specific age. There were pages and pages.  About 10 kids per page and I stopped at page 20, cause I just couldn't stand the sadness in their eyes. 

If I ever thought that going to the SPCA is difficult, then this just proved me so wrong.  How many sad lonely frighted kids are there in this world?!  How sad that you can "shop" online for these kids. 

Don't get me wrong.  I think it's a great means of getting homes for these kids.  For adoptive parents to "find" them.  Still, how terribly terribly sad for those children. 

Just look at this little girl.    She's the same age as Jason.  No spark in her little eyes.  She is one of the "lucky" ones.  She has longish hair, she's pretty.  She'll probably, hopefully get loving parents.  One can only hope that adoptive parents won't feel she is too old already. 

They have shaved of most of the little girl's hair.  With most of them, you really don't know if they are boys or girls, especially because they are dressed in unisex clothes.

Oh boy.  This just broke my heart.

Acting like a two year old - that will be me.  Not one of my boys.  Allow me to jump up and down.  To show some bad behaviour in the blog world.  Where my kids can't see me.

You all know how badly I wanted to go away.  Not just for me.  The boys really need to go out.  It's holiday and they are bored.  Weekends are the only time I have to take them somewhere.  Since I'm so busy at work, I really could do with the break.

Yesterday we had to do shopping.  No food in the house is just no fun.  So yesterday was out (unless you take the day out in town as going "out" lol)  I assumed we would go somewhere today.  That is until he told me of his plans to play golf.  All organized with his golfing partners.  I told him that I was upset.  That I would much rather go somewhere today.  I could see that I lost that fight.  So firstly I'm upset about being stuck at home today. 

Few things that gets me when he goes out to play golf.

1. He wakes up at 6 am to leave
2. He doesn't take the two older boys with, as we had discussed when Zander was born. 
3. He gets at least 6 hours all by himself to relax and I get what?
4. I get to clean the house, bath the kids, dress the kids, feed the kids
5. He already plays most Wednesdays so why does he need to play every single Sunday?

Okay, now that I have vented about the golf I feel better.  Well, not really but I can't hit him over the head with a golf stick, which would really make me feel better.  Well, not really but you get the point.

A fellow blogger wrote this post.  I thought it was brilliant.  It's about motherhood and sexuality.  Well written.  You can read my response to her there.

Sure doesn't feel like a Friday to me!  After working from home tomorrow, it feels as though it should be weekend.  I was so upset last night though.  One of the financial statements I did was no longer there when I wanted to e-mail it to work.  I searched everywhere on my computer and couldn't find it at all.  Not even after doing a search using the name I know I used.  URGH.  So I had to redo it and was busy till after 10 pm. 

• Zander is sick again.  Poor boy doesn't sound good when he is coughing and wants to be with me all the time.
• His eye infection is also not clearing up even though he is getting drops so often.
• I have cabin fever.  Feels as if we really need to get out.  I don't know what we will do this weekend but I hope it's not at home!
• A blogging friend, Bathtub Junkie, wanted to see my scrapbook lay-outs that I have done.  I can't believe I'm sharing them lol  I just started at home.  Never went on a course, done pages with friends.  Just me and my uhm...creative side lol  I took photos of them and stupid me, left the pages in the album.  So some of the reflections don't look too well
• My mom can still hardly walk.  Still stubborn and thinking bed rest will help.
• Quintus has finally mastered the rugby game on PlayStation.  He is loving that so.
• Tommie and I were talking last night about how Jason is more active these days.  Little guy even plays rugby by himself.  Maybe this weekend we can all team up and have a little rugby game

My mom's back is still extremely sore.  Even though I don't get why she is not going to the doctor, I do hope it gets better soon.  I'm working from home today.   I wasn't booked to see any clients, as I only do financial statements on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  However...

.... Quintus has a friend here who slept over as well.  Man can they be loud! Poor Zander is lucky if he can take a 30 minute nap without being woken up.  The PlayStation is set up right behind my desk, so I'm working with the boys behind me.  Makes concentrating rather interesting.

I thought I would take a break from work and get the boys away from the PlayStation - I thought I'd take them to the Wimpy for lunch.  There wasn't even parking place!  I gave that up as a bad decision and came straight home lol

• We don't often have mist here in Klerksdorp.  This morning though the mist was so thick that you could hardly see in front of you.  I thought it was beautiful.  I'm rather liking all the funny weather we are having.
• Especially so since we had pancakes last night.  We always have pancakes when it rains.  Why stop just because it's winter right lol
• I can't believe it's Thursday already.  With being so busy, it seems as though the weeks just fly by.  Just two more weeks to the cut of date for tax return submissions. 
• Even though our work doesn't stop  then, not by any means we do seem to relax more.  Doing all the returns for those who asked for extension.
• The mother of Tommie's brother-in-law passed away last night.  Totally unexpected.  Such a wonderful woman too.  I remember us visiting them on our honeymoon.  She made enough lunch to feed a small army.  She practically begged us to stay over.   They lived in this huge home on the beach.  They sold their home about 3 years ago to live near their kids.

Jason loves to read.  It is absolutely his favourite thing.  Okay, so he can't read yet but he loves it when we read to him and you will often find him paging through a book.  Seems like he is getting Zander hooked as well.