Today was probably the nicest visit we have ever had with my in-laws.  If it could be like that every time I will visit there SO much more.  It was great.  I actually didn't want to leave when Tommie said we should go home.  (who knew?)

For the first time ever we took a family photo of the enitre De Bruyn family.

BACK:  Tommie's brother-in-law; Jason; my father-in-law; Zander; Quintus, my mother-in-law

FRONT:  Tommie; me; Ockert (nephew); Rentia (Tommie's sister)

Then just a photo showing of Zander's beautiful eyes.

Last night after coming home from work, we went for a walk.  It's such a great way for all of us to de-stress.  We love it.  We walked around the track at the school close to us, while the boys played rugby.

As we were walking, Tommie's phone rang.  It was his golfing partner who wanted to know if they were playing on Saturday.  He said he would phone back after talking to me.  He wanted to go and I told him I would be disappointed if he did.  After some discussing and sulking (lol) he decided that he would give up his golf this weekend.

This morning we went shopping (I'm expecting a call from my bank manager any second!).  Tomorrow we are going to my bestest of friends in Johannesburg.  It will be lovely to just relax there.  We are all doing a scrapbooking course which will be lots of fun.  Now if only I can find photos to take with.  I'm no good with keeping photos.  OR maybe I should get some of my folks old photos (from when they were still dating) and scrap that.  I'll see.

Now we are off to the in-laws.  Which us luck!

Today my sweet little baby boy is 6 months old.  I can't believe how time has gone by.

Sweetcheecks

You came into our lives just a mere 6 months ago.  You were tiny.  You seemed so frail.  I was so scared your brothers would hurt you, even though they just wanted to love you.

We came back to work way too soon.  Even though you spend your first three months in my office, with me all the time, it wasn't enough.  We should have been home, just staring into each others eyes. 

While my pregnancy with you seemed to go on forever, this first six months have flown by.  I looked at you in the bath last night and I couldn't believe you are so big already.  In my eyes, you should still be that newborn with the floppy head. 

You are not though.  You are sitting up.  You love your food.  You adore your brothers.  You have eyes just for me.  I love how you follow me around with your eyes when I'm in the room with you.  Not taking them off me for a second, until I come join you on the bed.

I will make up for our missed time together.  Mommy promises you that.  I love you.  Every fibre of you. 

You are very much loved little guy.

I'm feeling better.  This can be because the tax season ends Friday or because I booked us a long weekend away at the end of the month or both. 

The end of the tax season most definitely doesn't mean the end of my busy work schedule but not seeing so many clients a day does help to reduce the stress level.  We are all going away for Jason's birthday at the end of the month.  He loves the place we are going to.  It's his absolute favourite place.  I even tried to bribe him into going to the sea but he would have nothing of that lol

Some things I'm doing to reduce my stress level:

• Say no
• I am trying to force myself to only think/worry about one thing at a time.  I have this thing where I have a zillion thoughts running through my mind, things that need to get done.  Now I am trying to teach myself to make notes of all the things and only concentrate on one thing at a time.
• Stop trying to force so much work into one day.  I push myself to complete whatever I'm busy with before I go home in the afternoon.  I set goals for myself and I work at it as fast as possible to get it all done in my time frame.  Which is most often only mine and not my client's. 
• Spend more time doing fun things with the boys.  It always relaxes me.  Instantly.
• Take my time nursing Zander as my time.  Where I sit back and think of nothing else but nursing him and stroking his little chubby hands.

I have an eye infection.  I wore no make-up today.  I wonder what my clients thought of me!  Well, I normally don't' wear much anyway, so maybe no-one noticed?  One can only live in hope hey!

I'm having a serious case of Monday blues today.  I've been feeling down for a while now and I'm really getting sick of it.  I'm tired of my work.  I feel totally overwelmed.  As though I'm doing something I'm not qualified to do and that I don't have near enough experience for.  Being a perfectionist (only in my work though, don't expect me to be that in all areas of my life) doesn't help.  I don't give myself a break and I will be hard on myself for a long time if I've made a mistake.  Even just a little one.

It feels as though I'm being pulled in too many directions and can't give my full attention to any one thing in my life right now.  I feel like I'm not half of the mom I used to be.  I'm not giving Tommie the attention he deserves - this is not good for our marriage.  Things are just too much.  I need to stop this world for just a little while and get of.

While I feel overwhelmed - here my sweet sweet Zander laughing at his big brother Quintus.

Sunday, July 9, 2006